The Valar Help Phone
by Kwantum
Summary: A devastated Melian attempts to make contact with the Valar after the death of Thingol using the only method that she knows...the Valar Help Phone...later mentioning of Beleg and Mablung.


Hands shaking slightly, Melian gently unlocked the small wooden cabinet that she kept secret from everyone, not even her now deceased husband knew that this was in her possession.

Taking a deep breath, she pulled out the small device, the gentle curves and smooth surface comforting in her hands.

When she chose to spend her life with Thingol, the Valar dismissed her with their blessings, though they had insisted that she take this. She did not know what it was though they assured her that it would be of great help when she needed it.

She needed them now, the world that she had meticulously built and protected around her and her family was lying in ruins. The accursed Silmaril was gone, dwarf and elf blood alike stained the once beautiful marble halls. Out of the thousand caves, only was was unmarred, but that was occupied by the few survivors.

The device fit well in her slender hands, the top portion was a smooth inky dark and reflective plain, much like the surface of a smooth pool. The bottom half was covered in a small array of small tiles, each marked with a respective rune. The alien symbols held no meaning for the mourning queen, and she silently chastised her own naïvety for not requesting instructions on how to use it.

More than slightly scared as to what would happen, she tentatively pressed one of the tiles and the entire device lit up and vibrated with etherial power. Melian experimentally tapped on the tiles, until a list of sorts was displayed on the upper portion. However, the words that were displayed were devastatingly unhelpful as they appeared to be in the same unknown tongue as the runes on the tiles.

Her eyes raking the small screen, she finally had an epiphany of sorts. Flashing at the bottom of the screen was a small green symbol that she recognized, there was a similar one carefully embossed on on of the larger tiles. There was little doubt in her mind that the larger the tile, the more important the function, and that the little flashing symbol was telling her what to do.

Rebuilding her cool and confident demeanor, she pressed the tile with the green rune on it.

She didn't know what to expect, perhaps the thing would open up, maybe it would glow brightly and show her her path, maybe it would take her back to Valinor...it did none of the above.

Melian jumped slightly when a cool and emotionless female voice ran out, coming from her tiny treasure.

"Thanks you for calling the Valar help line, for Illuvatar press 1, for the Valar press 2, and for the Valier press 3."

Melian knew what 1,2, and 3 were, she only hoped that the rune tiles were in that order. She also knew who she needed to talk to. She pressed "2"

"Thank for for calling the Valar, for Manwe press 1, for Ulmo press 2, for Aule press 3, for Orome press 4, and Namo press 5, for Irmo press 6, and for Tulkas press 7."

Her confidence building, Melian pressed 5.

"One moment please...please note that your call will be recorded for customer service and training purposes..."

As she waited with baited breath, a strangely repetitive and annoyingly high pitched music blasted through the device. For what seemed like hours, she patiently sat with the device at her ear. Finally, the voice returned.

"Thank you for calling The Halls of Mandos, for Namo's office press 1, for inquiries about our breakfast program press 2, for registration press 3, for visiting hours press 4."

Visiting hours? Did this mean that she could see Thingol again? Melian forcefully pressed down on 4.

"Visiting hours...Monday to Friday 9:30am-7:00pm, Saturday and Sunday 11:30am-10:30pm"

Melian smiled as she looked up through the window into the sky, it was Wednesday and 9:30am wasn't too far ahead of her.

Not knowing how exactly she would get there, she put the phone down when another option was given to her.

"for directions, please stay on the line"

Melian had no idea what that meant, but as the instructions were to stay on the line, it was safe to assume that she was already on the line...again a wait that was far too long and accompanied by that annoying jingle, then an all too familiar voice rang out.

"The Halls of Mandos Customer Service, how may I help you?"

At this, Melian was eagerly inclined to talk,

"Beleg?"

"Lady Melian!"

"What're you doing?"

"Me? I've been reeking havoc and Namo is pretty angry, so as punishment I'm rooted here answering calls."

"But what happened to you?"

"Well, I really should have heeded your words Lady Melian, it was Anglachel that brought about my doom. Turin stabbed me, thinking me a foe and despite my loud proclamations that I was not dead he rolled me into a ditch and piled dirt and stones on top of me. It was not long after that when I was awakened by Namo in a banana suit singing and dancing."

The Queen's heart went out to the archer that did too much for Doriath to die in such a way, but she had a purpose.

"I actually called to see if I could visit Elwe tomorrow, and of course you as well."

"That would be lovely My Lady, I am sure that Lord Thingol would greatly appreciate that. He was greeted as I was and put up quite a fight when a giant banana singing "The Candy Man" tried to drag him off."

Consoled that she would be reunited with her beloved, Melian allowed a smile to grace her face and laughed lightly.

"I'll tell Namo to dispatch a small transport to Menegroth tomorrow at 9:30am, is that alright?"

"I'll be waiting at the main gate."

"It was good to hear your voice again Lady Melian."

"Goodbye Beleg"

"Goodbye"

There was a loud and defiant beep and Melian knew that her brief communication with Beleg was over. Grinning and humming softly to herself, Melian gracefully picked herself off the floor and in heightened spirits left Menegroth.

She passed Mablung who was her hysterical companion for the past few days, weeping uncontrollably as his cow Gene had disappeared without a trace. He, like her seemed to be reinvigorated with a new found purpose.

"Hello Mablung" she said gently, trying to keep her suspiciously good mood in check

"Hello Lady Melian." the Heavy Hand replied

"Are you leaving Menegroth?"

"I'm afraid so, most of the survivors have already left, planning to take their chances in the wild. The thieving dwarves have left with their plunder and seek nothing but wealth so they will not be an issue. As for the orcs, I reconnoitered the area and they appear to have been scared off when the fighting started. It's time for me to go like the others. I have heard rumors that Beren was gone to avenge our deaths, but that is just a rumor."

"I do not blame you, and I wish you luck, though I'm sure one such as yourself does not need it. I too plan to depart in the morn. May ask where will you go?"

"I refuse to believe that Gene is dead, her stall was found empty with signs of a struggle and some blood, but no body. I believe that she has been taken alive, I intend to save her before the dwarves do something unthinkable."

"A noble quest, farewell Mablung."

"Farewell Lady Melian."

and with that the two last remnants of Doriath parted ways and left.


End file.
